SHAME... Everybody has their stuff... Issues in my life... Cher and Tina Turner... You Tube

My husband was asking about asthma triggers and since I've had trouble with this over the last twenty years, sometimes more-so and sometimes less-so, I figured I'd put up a video for informational purposes.

["Understanding Asthma (Asthma #1)"; as submitted to You Tube by illumistream on 11/15/07; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82gn_rDRpHk]

For me, asthma is associated with mold, certain cleaning chemicals, abrupt weather changes, hot humid days, rainy periods - and most of all (I think) stifled tears...

In fact, there was a period of time when I could not cry at all - and would end up at the emergency room instead, where after a shot of steroids (prednisone?) I would start crying my eyes out... which I only seemed to be able to do with medical supervison (?)...

Which is probably relational - since I spent most of this last winter crying (some kind of horrendous breakthrough? / a living, breathing oxymoron?) - and my asthma seems ("knock wood") a bit better as a result - to the issue presented in the following video:

["Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD"; as submitted to You Tube by edyer01 on 7/25/08; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pT8vs5P_bFs]

PTSD, depression, anxiety, phobias, eating issues, a history of revictimization - and trying to learn better / healthier coping mechanisms...

Yep, that is me...

The "confessional" (out of vogue) poet, philosopher, writer, dreamer and clown...

Trying, so very hard (whether others believe it or not!) to grow up...

["Depression. You are not alone"; as submitted to You Tube by AnorexicDream on 4/29/07; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CfirTk4PnI]

And thus, I bounce - attempting for this moment - "a day at a time" - to tackle everything at once - flood myself - get over myself - rise above myself...

Sometimes succeeding.

Sometimes failing.

Periodically thumbing my nose at the mental health system that has sucked up my history (to the degree I have remembered it) like a hoover vacuum...

Taken a few vacations on my account...

Offered me drugs [my neurotransmitters appear to be plenty "snappy"] that I want NO PART OF... [usually drugs associated with whatever phamaceutical company is handing out the most free tablets of paper and annointed pens at the time...]

Whilst I have - thus far - kept pushing on (extremely grateful to a few of the more sincere therapists, to be sure!) --- like some of the gals I consider heroes...

Because they didn't give up --- they NEVER gave up --- and their LIGHT still (These are a couple of absolutely amazing women!) shines...

["cher tina tarner_tina_turner_shame_shame_shame"; as submitted to You Tube by goldimeem on 3/3/08; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWIuGywIkvc]

There is no shame in suffering from mental and/or emotional disorders... but one must, in this society, either hide the fact and/or push at the barriers until either the barriers break or --- you do (read the stats...)

So, if you are anything like me --- try to be gentle (I'm speaking to myself, as well) even as you try to push...

And if you want to join a sad silly "leprechaun" or "freedom fairy" (I haven't decided :) for Sunday's St. Patricks Day Parade (an attempt to chase away the blues!) --- send me an email at wingedbirdinflight@live.com

The children love it!

And I've found that to be (no matter what others think) a tremendous incentive to carry on...

[I am speaking from my personal experiences here --- and yours (experiences and/or opinions) may differ. Please do NOT take any of this as "expert" medical advice... and please don't take ANY action that your doctor, therapist and/or psychiatrist would advise you against!]

Peace, Love, Equality and Humane Justice,

NS